I am well aware of what I should expect being an LEO wife, but let me just say that this new schedule sucks. I know I shouldn't complain, I know beyond anything else I am lucky that my LEO is not a statistic, and I know that we will eventually get used to it again. Until then, I will think it sucks.
The transition is a bit much for us, and by us I mean the who family. Even the dog is thrown for a loop. The kids can't seem to keep up with who picks them up from school on what day even though that part hasn't changed. It is just the sum of the whole getting to us.
I am sure in a few days we will all be fine, but until then, and until my sleep gets back on track, I want a nap, and I want my hubby home when I take it (none of which will happen).
That is my rant, I won't (well will try not to) do it again. I feel better now, but I still want my nap.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Monday, October 7, 2013
Change is coming
Anyone married to an LEO knows that shifts change and schedules change are not uncommon. Well I get a text Tuesday saying the Hubs' schedule is changing....the next day. Yep so my little world of him home every night and every weekend is no more. I was not happy I assure you. We have gone back to the every other weekend 2 on 2 off. This in theory is awesome because he is home during the week and can get things done. It sucks in reality because he will be working odd hours, coming in all hours of the night, and working every other weekend.
This is a common schedule with LEO and it is one we dealt with for the better part of 10 years. It was very easy to fall into the routine of it when we had no choice and knew no different. Now that we have had "normal", well giving it up is going to be rough.
All of it reminds me that all (well most) LEO spouses are in fact married single parents. It makes you appreciate quality time together. It also makes you annoyed, and frustrated and can make you grumpy.
I know adjustment will take a bit of time, for myself and the kids, and the Hubs but I have a feeling it is going to take longer to get adjusted to that than it did the last change which ROCKED!!
This is a common schedule with LEO and it is one we dealt with for the better part of 10 years. It was very easy to fall into the routine of it when we had no choice and knew no different. Now that we have had "normal", well giving it up is going to be rough.
All of it reminds me that all (well most) LEO spouses are in fact married single parents. It makes you appreciate quality time together. It also makes you annoyed, and frustrated and can make you grumpy.
I know adjustment will take a bit of time, for myself and the kids, and the Hubs but I have a feeling it is going to take longer to get adjusted to that than it did the last change which ROCKED!!
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Myths about being married to a cop
I am a creature of habit, and one of my habits to get my day started is by reading certain blogs. I do this every morning before I start actually working. Being a mom of boys I like to read boy mom blogs, and as a cop's wife I obviously like to read cop's wife blogs. One particular post that I read got me thinking. She posted about 5 myths to being a doctors wife (read it here you will appreciate the humor and honesty that it gives as do the majority of the post-the others are about food). This got me to thinking, what are myths about being a cop's wife. There are several both funny and not so funny that come to mind.
1)Myth:
If my husband stops you, then you can say oh, your Janelle's husband and that will get you out of a ticket.
Truth:
If my husband stops you and you reference me, all that will do is get you sitting on the side of the road longer with him asking how you know me. In fact, if my husband is the officer that stops you, you most likely deserved it because he is one of the few officers that I know that hates writing tickets, because it just leads to more paperwork. Who really wants to spend their day doing paperwork.
2) Myth:
We own stock in doughnuts...
Truth:
It is OK to admit to the fact that we all make police jokes about cops eating doughnuts. It is the most common thing they get picked on, you know it, I know it. I have joked with Hubs a few times about it. The sad reality is that in my house he will be the last one to eat a doughnut (unless they are the homemade fried biscuit kind that you dip in powdered sugar and who can resist those). You can walk in my house at any given point and time and would not find doughnuts. The kids went through a brief stage of wanting the powdered sugar kind (Hello Sweet Sixteen!!) but after dealing with cleaning up the mess and all that, they are a rare purchase as well. Now I can't speak for all LEO households but I can for mine and that is our truth.
3) Myth:
The radio (scanner which ever you prefer to call it) stays on all the time.
Truth:
It is never on at my house unless he has come home for a meal and is still on duty, or is getting ready, or if he gets a call that says hey we have this and this going on we may need you to come back to work. I have a firm rule that when we are home we are home. We do not talk about work unless it is something that is going to directly effect our family. When we are home it is family time. When he was a road officer and worked nights, I refused to listen to a scanner. I finally was asked why I didn't listen by a non LEO wife I simply explained that 1) I have a house to tend to and two children running around, and didn't want the extra noise. Reason 2) is the most honest sincere police wife answer I could give. I don't want to hear my husband get shot in the event something happens. Plain and Simple. If something happens that I need to know I will be told. Until then ignorance is bliss.
4) Myth:
I can't sleep when he works nights.
Truth:
Here again this is applies to my household only, I can not speak for other wives. When my husband and I first got married and he went back to work he was on night shift. So I started out sleeping in our bed with him not home. I never had an issued with not sleeping good with him not home. Along came the kids and one of our boys refused to sleep when his dad wasn't home unless he was in our bed. It was the only time he wanted to sleep in the big bed. So he did, mostly so I could sleep. Then the kids got bigger and started staying in there beds and Hubs still worked nights as part of his rotation. I still slept amazing. I got the whole bed. I wasn't being routed out of my side of the bed (after almost 10 years he still takes up the whole bed). I on occasion looked forward to him being on night shift. I could get to bed at a normal hour and get a good solid night's sleep. Now that he is home every night and weekend, it is a bit different. When he gets called back into work late at night it takes me a bit longer to go back to sleep mostly because I know something is wrong. But I can finally fall asleep and sleep nicely. Basically I can sleep no matter what, or where.
5) Myth:
Cops make mega bucks.
Truth:
Pardon me while I roll on the floor laughing hysterically. This is a myth of epic proportion. You will NEVER hear a cop say they do it for the money. If they do, then they must be minimalist. Please never be disillusioned enough to think that any amount of money is worth risking your life. LEOs along with soldiers are both highly underpaid and under appreciated. Most LEO families that I know are 2 income families just because well you can't make it off of one. I am not sure who came up with that idea but they are so so SO wrong.
6) Myth:
The dangers of the job don't phase you.
Truth:
I think this is one place I can speak for all spouses no matter what their LEO does. The dangers of the job are always in your mind. However if you dwell on it, you will in fact drive yourself crazy. You know that every time they walk out the door they are just one call away from possibly not coming home. That is why when they leave for work, you need to always tell them you love them, just in case. You learn to make the most of the time you have together. LEO life and families learn that it is more about quality time than quantity time. You learn what counts and what doesn't. Yes, I worry. Yes, there have been times I have been to worried to sleep. Yes, we have been in restaurants and he has had to run out because of a chase and it scares the crap out of me. More than anything I know this is what he was meant to do and where he is suppose to be and that gives you a bit more peace of mind.
1)Myth:
If my husband stops you, then you can say oh, your Janelle's husband and that will get you out of a ticket.
Truth:
If my husband stops you and you reference me, all that will do is get you sitting on the side of the road longer with him asking how you know me. In fact, if my husband is the officer that stops you, you most likely deserved it because he is one of the few officers that I know that hates writing tickets, because it just leads to more paperwork. Who really wants to spend their day doing paperwork.
2) Myth:
We own stock in doughnuts...
Truth:
It is OK to admit to the fact that we all make police jokes about cops eating doughnuts. It is the most common thing they get picked on, you know it, I know it. I have joked with Hubs a few times about it. The sad reality is that in my house he will be the last one to eat a doughnut (unless they are the homemade fried biscuit kind that you dip in powdered sugar and who can resist those). You can walk in my house at any given point and time and would not find doughnuts. The kids went through a brief stage of wanting the powdered sugar kind (Hello Sweet Sixteen!!) but after dealing with cleaning up the mess and all that, they are a rare purchase as well. Now I can't speak for all LEO households but I can for mine and that is our truth.
3) Myth:
The radio (scanner which ever you prefer to call it) stays on all the time.
Truth:
It is never on at my house unless he has come home for a meal and is still on duty, or is getting ready, or if he gets a call that says hey we have this and this going on we may need you to come back to work. I have a firm rule that when we are home we are home. We do not talk about work unless it is something that is going to directly effect our family. When we are home it is family time. When he was a road officer and worked nights, I refused to listen to a scanner. I finally was asked why I didn't listen by a non LEO wife I simply explained that 1) I have a house to tend to and two children running around, and didn't want the extra noise. Reason 2) is the most honest sincere police wife answer I could give. I don't want to hear my husband get shot in the event something happens. Plain and Simple. If something happens that I need to know I will be told. Until then ignorance is bliss.
4) Myth:
I can't sleep when he works nights.
Truth:
Here again this is applies to my household only, I can not speak for other wives. When my husband and I first got married and he went back to work he was on night shift. So I started out sleeping in our bed with him not home. I never had an issued with not sleeping good with him not home. Along came the kids and one of our boys refused to sleep when his dad wasn't home unless he was in our bed. It was the only time he wanted to sleep in the big bed. So he did, mostly so I could sleep. Then the kids got bigger and started staying in there beds and Hubs still worked nights as part of his rotation. I still slept amazing. I got the whole bed. I wasn't being routed out of my side of the bed (after almost 10 years he still takes up the whole bed). I on occasion looked forward to him being on night shift. I could get to bed at a normal hour and get a good solid night's sleep. Now that he is home every night and weekend, it is a bit different. When he gets called back into work late at night it takes me a bit longer to go back to sleep mostly because I know something is wrong. But I can finally fall asleep and sleep nicely. Basically I can sleep no matter what, or where.
5) Myth:
Cops make mega bucks.
Truth:
Pardon me while I roll on the floor laughing hysterically. This is a myth of epic proportion. You will NEVER hear a cop say they do it for the money. If they do, then they must be minimalist. Please never be disillusioned enough to think that any amount of money is worth risking your life. LEOs along with soldiers are both highly underpaid and under appreciated. Most LEO families that I know are 2 income families just because well you can't make it off of one. I am not sure who came up with that idea but they are so so SO wrong.
6) Myth:
The dangers of the job don't phase you.
Truth:
I think this is one place I can speak for all spouses no matter what their LEO does. The dangers of the job are always in your mind. However if you dwell on it, you will in fact drive yourself crazy. You know that every time they walk out the door they are just one call away from possibly not coming home. That is why when they leave for work, you need to always tell them you love them, just in case. You learn to make the most of the time you have together. LEO life and families learn that it is more about quality time than quantity time. You learn what counts and what doesn't. Yes, I worry. Yes, there have been times I have been to worried to sleep. Yes, we have been in restaurants and he has had to run out because of a chase and it scares the crap out of me. More than anything I know this is what he was meant to do and where he is suppose to be and that gives you a bit more peace of mind.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
The good, the bad and the cut finger
Hubs works in a small town, they have a small department. This is over all a good thing. They have 1 shift officer on either working 530 am to 530 pm or vice verse, one split officer that works noon to midnight, and the Sgt works 8-2 or 8-7 depending on if it is his day to pick up kids or not (that would be hubs) and the Chief. The last two are Monday to Friday guys unless the poo hits the fan. Then there is the secretary, let me just say that this lady is a SAINT. She and I have gotten to be really good friends over the last 9 years. We talk daily. We have kids at the same school that play on the same baseball team, and are just generally a lot a like.
I get a text from her earlier this week telling me hubs had cut his finger and it had been bleeding for about 10 minutes and just would not stop. Now let me just say, 1) I am a worst case scenario type of person when it comes to accident or injuries 2) I work 30 minutes from him so I can't just swing by and check on him and 3) he is stubborn-his finger could have been have hanging half off and he wouldn't have done much more than apply pressure and use skin glue.
I of course start worrying, and finally I get word from hubs that he is ok, and he of course sends me a picture (I am a mom of boys so no I am not squeamish) and thankfully it is not bad. It does however make you realize that the only reason your husband ever goes to have stitches or staples is because you make him.
We are all aware that there are dangers int he job, however you don't ever think one of those dangers will be your own pocket knife.
I get a text from her earlier this week telling me hubs had cut his finger and it had been bleeding for about 10 minutes and just would not stop. Now let me just say, 1) I am a worst case scenario type of person when it comes to accident or injuries 2) I work 30 minutes from him so I can't just swing by and check on him and 3) he is stubborn-his finger could have been have hanging half off and he wouldn't have done much more than apply pressure and use skin glue.
I of course start worrying, and finally I get word from hubs that he is ok, and he of course sends me a picture (I am a mom of boys so no I am not squeamish) and thankfully it is not bad. It does however make you realize that the only reason your husband ever goes to have stitches or staples is because you make him.
We are all aware that there are dangers int he job, however you don't ever think one of those dangers will be your own pocket knife.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Welcome to my world
We were laying in bed the other night, going over the week ahead and Hubs looks at me and says "How do you do it?" Of course I was clueless as to what he meant so I ask. He said "How do you get used to only having Saturday and Sunday to do stuff?" That is when I impart words of wisdom on him that every man should remember...I do what I can and leave the rest and dare someone to fuss because it's not exactly how they want it. If you think something else needs to be done or done differently, do it yourself. I think I kind of shocked him.
I do believe dear Hubs is finally seeing that all these years of me working Monday to Friday is not nearly as easy as he thought it was. That made me feel a lot better. All the years of being a married single parent, having little time together as a family was not nearly as easy as he thought.
I must say as much as I am liking all these new changes I think this is the best one of all.
I do believe dear Hubs is finally seeing that all these years of me working Monday to Friday is not nearly as easy as he thought it was. That made me feel a lot better. All the years of being a married single parent, having little time together as a family was not nearly as easy as he thought.
I must say as much as I am liking all these new changes I think this is the best one of all.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Valentine's Day
We are not romantic people. After being together 12 years and married almost 10 years, throw in 2 kids and just life in general we seriously fail in the romance department. So I thought with today being Valentine's Day I figured I would make the effort to actually do something today.
I worked hard to keep his stuff a surprise, after all he is a detective and can usually tell when I am up to something. I called the secretary at the PD and asked if she would help me sneak his stuff in so that it was on his desk when he gets in to the office. In his little goody bag is a ton of Hershey kisses and Hershey bars, chewing gum, 3 cans of Copenhagen (again yes we are southern, he dips, that is the dip he only buys on special occasions cause well it's expensive), and after a trip to a local bakery a personal pineapple upside down cake, 2 lip shaped cookies, and oatmeal sandwich cookies.
My favorite part of the bag though was the framed picture of our family for his desk, and the cards-one from me, one from the kids. My card was mushy and sweet and had a little note to go with the money I put in there. The little note said, since I can't eat lunch with you today, lunch is on me :).
Hopefully he enjoys his little goodies today, and maybe he will bring some chocolate home and share. :)
I worked hard to keep his stuff a surprise, after all he is a detective and can usually tell when I am up to something. I called the secretary at the PD and asked if she would help me sneak his stuff in so that it was on his desk when he gets in to the office. In his little goody bag is a ton of Hershey kisses and Hershey bars, chewing gum, 3 cans of Copenhagen (again yes we are southern, he dips, that is the dip he only buys on special occasions cause well it's expensive), and after a trip to a local bakery a personal pineapple upside down cake, 2 lip shaped cookies, and oatmeal sandwich cookies.
My favorite part of the bag though was the framed picture of our family for his desk, and the cards-one from me, one from the kids. My card was mushy and sweet and had a little note to go with the money I put in there. The little note said, since I can't eat lunch with you today, lunch is on me :).
Hopefully he enjoys his little goodies today, and maybe he will bring some chocolate home and share. :)
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Sharing a bathroom
Because of the new schedule, all 4 of us are trying to get out the door at once. Three of us leave at one time, because I am driving the kids to school. In my house, there are some things not many people can adjust to unless you have to. One of those is I have only one bathroom. This seldom poses a problem unless you are not a fan of sharing a bathroom with three other people while you are handeling the business a bathroom is for.
There is no privacy in my house. That is just how it is. You don't go to the bathroom alone, you don't sleep alone, you just don't do anything by yourself.
Hubs has always been used to having his time to get ready on his own with no one in the way. Now he is having to get used to us being there moving around-me having to often times get a little loud and fussy after the boys. It has been an eye opener for him.
I think he is realizing that maybe the alarm clock is there for a reason :)
There is no privacy in my house. That is just how it is. You don't go to the bathroom alone, you don't sleep alone, you just don't do anything by yourself.
Hubs has always been used to having his time to get ready on his own with no one in the way. Now he is having to get used to us being there moving around-me having to often times get a little loud and fussy after the boys. It has been an eye opener for him.
I think he is realizing that maybe the alarm clock is there for a reason :)
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
I'm kinda liking this
As I mentioned earlier hubs schedule has changed. I am kinda liking this being home every night...especially nights when little boys (Aka THing 1 and Thing 2) don't go to bed like they should. I will however admit that I don't like having to get 4 (myself would be number 4 in the house) not so great morning people out of the bed. Ya see, no one in my house is a rise and shine kinda person. I am the first one up obviously, but then I have to rattle everyone out of their own personal sleep comas. Hubs is the last one, this is simply because the kids and i have to be gone by 745. He doesn't have to check on till 8 and we live 2 miles from his PD.
What I am really liking is that he is home every single weekend. Even better is that he has started going to church with us. This makes all of us happy.
I am fairly certain we will have times that he has to work the old schedule but for the most part we are all loving him being home.
What I am really liking is that he is home every single weekend. Even better is that he has started going to church with us. This makes all of us happy.
I am fairly certain we will have times that he has to work the old schedule but for the most part we are all loving him being home.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Schedule changes
We are in the midst of some changes at the PD Hubs works at. Our chief is retiring so that means a new chief and a new schedule. Our schedule is currently a 2 on-2 off 3-on 2-off 3-on schedule. Meaning if he works Monday/Tuesday he is off Wednesday/Thursday and works the weekend, then the next week is the opposite. This proves handy for us having kids in school that are still too young to come home by themselves. He picks them up the days he is off and the days he works a very dear friend of ours that works at the school takes them home with her. Hubs normal hours were noon to midnight.
As you can imagine I was either awake or woken up when he came home on that schedule. Well starting today he will be working a schedule that is entirely new to us as a family. He will be working Monday to Friday. Yep that's right, we finally get to have a few normal weekends. He will be working a rotation in the week that will have him home every night before bedtime, and will have him getting off other days in time to pick the kids up from school.
This is going to be a huge adjustment for me as a wife. I am thrilled to get to have some sort of normal life, but in the 9 years we have been married we have never both worked Monday to Friday. The kids and I were adjusted to the workings of every other weekend, and holidays, birthdays and the like being celebrated on days adjusted around his schedule. That was life we managed. Now we get to be somewhat normal.
This is going to be an even bigger adjustment to Hubs who is a night owl. He functions best between the hours of sundown to sun up. Hopefully he will be able to wear himself out enough on the days he gets off early to make him tired. I feel sure he will once the days are getting longer and more can be done outside.
So maybe the changes ahead for us will be great and we will adjust well. I can say I am pretty excited about him being there in the mornings to help get the kids out the door. The kids may not be so excited about dad being up when they are being hard headed. :)
As you can imagine I was either awake or woken up when he came home on that schedule. Well starting today he will be working a schedule that is entirely new to us as a family. He will be working Monday to Friday. Yep that's right, we finally get to have a few normal weekends. He will be working a rotation in the week that will have him home every night before bedtime, and will have him getting off other days in time to pick the kids up from school.
This is going to be a huge adjustment for me as a wife. I am thrilled to get to have some sort of normal life, but in the 9 years we have been married we have never both worked Monday to Friday. The kids and I were adjusted to the workings of every other weekend, and holidays, birthdays and the like being celebrated on days adjusted around his schedule. That was life we managed. Now we get to be somewhat normal.
This is going to be an even bigger adjustment to Hubs who is a night owl. He functions best between the hours of sundown to sun up. Hopefully he will be able to wear himself out enough on the days he gets off early to make him tired. I feel sure he will once the days are getting longer and more can be done outside.
So maybe the changes ahead for us will be great and we will adjust well. I can say I am pretty excited about him being there in the mornings to help get the kids out the door. The kids may not be so excited about dad being up when they are being hard headed. :)
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