You just get to the point where...

You just do what you wanna do.  After being married to an LEO for almost 9 years (that is a long time in LEO time and modern day marriages) you get tot he point where you don't work your schedule around his as much.  You just go.  For instance, in the past several years I would have spent the entire weekend at home just the boys and I because Hubs was working all weekend.  It has recently gotten to the point though that sitting at home all weekend stinks as much to me as it does the kids.  Now my boys are 8 and 5, they are by no means social butterflies but they do have the need to get out of the house.  I will say those two boys and I stayed ont he go all weekend.  We went to Thing 1's trophy presentation for baseball, dinner out just the three of us, a trip to Walmart, an afternoon by the pool, a trip to Lowe's and Pizza Hut.  When the boys were younger, and honestly fought less we would go out more just the three of us, and honestly when it was just one kid and me, we would take off anywhere.  But as the kids get older the thrill of going and doing is there more.  Normally on the weekends that it is just us, I would take care of the errands, such as grocery shopping and things of that nature that I know is easier without the husband.  However now, the boys and I are doing more fun stuff.  Now don't be mistaken, I love nothing more than my family of 4 spending quality time together.   It is all about balance, you get let your life stop.  Now we don't do anything major, like long distance trips, but little day things to keep the three of us from getting bored out of our minds.  It's all about living, and really there is not a point one in sitting and waiting for life to come to you, you have to go get it.

A Moment of clarity

As I get older I realize it takes less and less to make me happy.  As long as my children are happy and healthy, I have a roof over my head, food in my families bellies, what more could I ask for?  We take things for granted so much that we don't realize that it can all be gone in the blink of an eye.  Now when I say "We" please know that I more than include myself in that.  My family-not the family that lives in my house but close family none the less- is currently dealing with 2 members having major illness.  These 2 happen to be brothers, which happen to be my uncles.  Seeing and hearing all that they are going through makes you step back and go, "I really complain about a bunch of useless mess" .

As I watched my children playing baseball last night the thought hit me, that I truly have a blessed life.  What more could a lady need, a husband that loves her and her family more than words can say, two beautiful, wild, wide open little boys, extended family that is just a phone call away and true friends, not just acquaintances that are there any time day or night, through the good, the bad, the ugly, and the funny. 

While I have my struggles and stresses I know that in the great scheme of it all, its all gonna be alright.

In Honor of Police week

The Final Inspection 


The policeman stood and faced his God,which must always come to pass.

He hoped his shoes were shining just as brightly as his brass.

"Step forward now, policeman. How shall I deal with you?

Have you always turned the other cheek?

To my church have you been true?

The policeman squared his shoulders and said.

"No, I guess I ain't because those of us who carry a badge

can't always be a Saint."

I've had to work most Sundays

and at times my talk is rough,

and sometimes I've been violent,

because the streets are awfully tough.

But I never took a penny that wasn't mine to keep...

though I worked a lot of overtime when the bills got to steep.

And I never passed a cry for help

though at times I shook with fear,

and sometimes, God forgive me, I've wept unmanly tears.

I know I don't deserve a place among the people here.

They never wanted me around except to calm their fear.

If you've a place for me here, Lord, it needn't be so grand,

I never expected or had too much, but if  you don't...I'll understand"

There was a silence all around the throne where the Saints had often trod.

As the policeman waited quietly for the judgment of his God.

"Step forward now, policeman.

You've borne you burdens well.

Come walk a beat on Heaven's streets.

You've done your time in Hell"

(Author Unknown )

Stated Simply

While surfing the internet I found a website that has tons of police poems, actually it was policepoems.com.  This couldn't be more accurate. 

"A Police Officer's Wife"    

A special kind of woman: a cut above the rest,
That's A Police Officer's Wife, rating her best.

How many good byes are whispered, joined with a fond embrace?
As duty steals her man, for the danger he must face.

How often have meals been ruined - or tender moments disturbed,
by a call for special duty, sparking loyalty un-swerved?

It's a devil of a job, for an angel like this,
Who......for the love of her man, must forsake that kiss,

She can run a garden tractor; even paint a room in need,
How she can stretch a dollar is a miracle indeed.

She's mother, lover, chauffeur and nurse, A living symbol of: "for better or for worse."

Rich is the man, reaping his rewards in life,
Who chose to be the other half of

A Police Officer's Wife.

(Author Unknown)  

More than meets the eye

People think a lot of different things about police officers.  It's no secret, not all of these thoughts are good.  However behind  almost every man with a badge, is a family at home.  We have learned over the last few years to make the most of what you have.  Weekends that hubs is off work is family time, we try not to schedule much activity with anyone else just so we can enjoy our time as a family.  I know as the kids get older it won't happen as often.  One of the things that we do as a family is baseball.  Thing 1 is on a team, Thing 2 is on another team.  That's right 2 different teams, 2 different schedules, the works.  Hubs however has found himself helping with Thing 2's tball team this year, at least when he is there.  When I say helping, not only do I mean helping coach one of the bases and telling the kids when to stop and go, but also helping with crowd control. Let's face it, and 4, 5 and 6 it is as much crowd control as anything else. 

So for all the folks who think the man writing you a ticket is a ____________ (insert ugly word here), just remember that somewhere there is a little fella waiting on daddy to get home to play ball.

Time

There are many situations that make you step back and go "Why did I do this to myself again?"  This is usually sparked when my planner/calendar is extremely full.  Well we are at that point right now.  My planner is color coded.  Pink highlighter for one boy, yellow for the other.  Hubs work schedule is also written in, along with important stuff for both of our moms-doctor appts, out of town trips etc.  In amongst all of that you have to make time to handle the everyday life things at home, laundry, dishes (that some how mount up even though no one actually eats at home) cleaning the bathroom (let's face it the house becomes a rest area only, used primarliy for its facilities). 

Now let me just say that my family is not an overly busy family for about 10 months out of the year.  I tell my kids that they can pick one thing to do at a time.  Thing 1 came home from school the first of the year and said "Mom I wanna do cub scouts"  the converstation then went like this

MOM: Well honey that is great but if you do cub scouts, then you can't play baseball.
THING: I can do both mom, it's easy.
        Let me just say here that he is 7 and doesn't yet understand the total logistics of it all
MOM:  You may be able to, but the person who is responsible for taking you to events can't do both.  So you need to pick, do you want to be a scout, or a ball player.
        Let me say here, that the Scouts organization is a grand thing, and I am not against my sons being one, but we aren't the go go go all the time kind of family so I made him pick.
Thing:  Well, Mama, that's not really a hard choice to make...I'm a ball player, but can I play football to?
MOM:  walks off to another room shaking head

The reason why I limit my kids on what they can and can't do activity wise is very simple.  It is a 4 letter word, TIME.  Given the schedule that HUBS has with work, and the chances that he has to work on a day he should be off, and the fact that I work 30 minutes from home; things have to be limited. 

Right now both kids play baseball, one is on a teeball team, the other coach pitch.  That's right, we have games the same night at different fields at the same time-not many because thankfully the coach is the same for both. 

This goes back to the married single parent thing.  What do you do when Hubs is working a shift, Thing 1 has a game at 715 in one town, and Thing 2 has a game at 7 in a totally different town, 15 minutes away?  Pray that their grandma is around!!! 

The joys of motherhood, wifehood and LEOhood!!!!!

New friends

Since Hubs has moved up in rank, he is meeting other officers from other departments.  This is a glorious thing.  Not only is it a great network thing, its a great Hubs thing.  After a week in class a few weeks back, he found out that he and another detective share an interest.  Arrowhead collecting.  These two along with another non-LEO got together over the weekend and went and did a little searching for them.  The kids and I enjoyed a morning at home with nothing to do other than watch cartoons.

Something you find once you get into law enforcement is that many of the people that you thought were your friend before, well let's just say they don't stick around very long once you earn a badge.  So it becomes pretty obvious that most of your friends will be other officers.  This has many advantages. One, you have a friend who truly understands what your job entails, stress wise, schedule and things like that.  You also have a friend, that especially if they work the same shift as you, learns your tone and understands when you need help just by the way you announce your number when calling into dispatch.   It also means if this new friend has a spouse, or significant other, then the families more than likely will become friends. 

I am thankful for the friends I have made since this journey started.  I am thankful even more for friends that Hubs has made and the ones I know are watching his back.